You know you’re living in another country when…

imagesYou know you’re living in another country when…


The sign in front of the British School says…no loitering, no soliciting, no hanging-out, no kerb crawling (looking for hookers).

The South African advertisements on The Discovery Channel are selling “car recovery” insurance with the catch line…”because your car can disappear right in front of your eyes”.

You go to a pool party and there isn’t just one, but two live singers performing Afro Pop and Lionel Ritchie covers. As the evening wears on, the more, shall we say, “colorful” performer removes his shirt and shoes to strip down to the tightest pants imaginable, paints his face white and…wait for it…is an albino with hair dyed jet-black. His culminating performance consisted of circling the pool, gyrating and singing to the music while soliciting tips, lingering until each spectators paid up… Greg paid straight-away.

The package of Yummies Plantain Chips has two hotlines to call (in case you have a plantain-related emergency?) and claims “no addictives/preservation”. Maybe that’s what the hotline is for.

Everyone speaks English but you just can’t quite catch the accent.

You can charge groceries at the commissary then pay the monthly bill by writing a check from your US bank account.

Malaria seems like a walk in the park compared to the “E” word.

There are ” ‘E’ Word Cure” parties that feature martinis as the predominant medicinal remedy.

The spray painted sign on the brick wall under the bridge say “Don’t Piss Here” on one side, and “Don’t Sh** Here” on the other. Good to know.

And you really know you’re living in another country when none of these things seem weird, just mildly amusing. Well, okay. The guy in tight pants was pretty strange but incredibly amusing all the same!

This entry was posted in Miss Chicken's Adventures, Nigeria and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to You know you’re living in another country when…

  1. Unc Bruce says:


    This is absolutely Hilarious. I thouroughly enjoyed reading it .

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